To start off, yes this is a true story. This happened to me one drunken night in North Carolina, when I was just becoming who I am today. Here, you'll learn how I came to make friends with some of the best people I have ever met. I hope that starting out with this story will catch the interest of like minded people out there. So if you love to throw back some cold ones on the weekend and have low morals, then here's to the drinking class!
The year was 2013, and I was a six pack of Bud Light deep on a Friday night when I decided to hit up one of the local bars. Now back in those days, that didn't just mean ME. It meant me, and ten of my buddies! The night would include beer, liquor, dancing, and if we were lucky, easy women with questionable morals and daddy issues.
That night, I was approached at the bar by a nice young women, who thought that my skills on the dance floor were sexy as hell. I'd say a solid 10/10 on the scale, even after only a few beers. Well naturally, I manage to successfully get her number (SCORE!). More than thought though, she wants to come to the party I'm going to tonight (SCORE X2!). My spidey senses quickly declare her an easy target for my drunken self to slobber over until she decides to give it up.
Sadly however, that is not how the night ended. Now if you guess the night ended with me holding her ponytail in the front yard as she threw up the FOUR beers she drank, then you'd be right. Buzzkill right? Agreed.
Well this became a habit. Not the throwing up, but the anticipation, followed by denial, of any sexual acts. Now it wasn't that we didn't try to have sex, because we did. But something always got in the way. Usually this included my roommate walking into the living room while I was in "foreplay mode".
Well after a few weeks of this, I go home to Texas for a week or two to see my family. On this two week trip, we talk the whole time, and then one day the worst happens. She admits to me, that she has genital herpes. (Thank god I got cock-blocked!) Well this of course led me to never talk to her again.
A few days after I got back home, I went to the bar again. That night, I learned she had started talking to someone new. Well let's just say that after an 18 rack of cheap beer I was determined to make sure that this random guy didn't catch the herp. So what do I do? I walk up to him, and I tell him what I know. Thankfully he believed me, and came back home with me and my friends to enjoy a night of drunken stupor and chicks playing strip pong.
That night, I made a lifetime friend, we'll call him "Tiger", thanks mom for the idea.
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I'll do me best to update this thing at least once a day. comment or email me if you liked it, or want to hear anything specific!
-Codex
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