Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Agenda 21: Why the United Nations is a Communist Group.







                                             Agenda 21:

                  Why the United Nations Is a Communist Group.


 

   Many of you haven't yet heard of this blatant act of communism, who's creating dates back multiple decades. And even if you have, you might learn a bit.


     For those of you that still haven't the slightest clue what "Agenda 21" is, here's some insight. Agenda 21 is a 40 chapter document created by the United Nations in 1992. It's concept was detailed at a summit meeting in Rio De Janeiro. You can read the entire document in full text format here. In essence, this 351 page document describes plans for a worldwide  "Globalization" movement. 

    This would include the abandonment of the U.S. Constitution, and the Urbanization of America. Citizens would be relocated and forced to reside in multi-family housing units at predetermined points across the country. The per-existing suburban environment would be protected as a restricted zone, where the only human interaction would be governmental ecological studies.

    Evidence of a slow and gradual transition into this "Smart Growth" ideology is seen even today, 24 years after the first summit meeting. President Barrack Obama was quoted denying government funds to rebuild communities with population densities on the lower end of the spectrum. If continued, this would force citizens to move to larger cities. Remember those multi-family housing units? Small quartered apartments in urban communities have been funded by the government for YEARS.

    Another key concept associated with Agenda 21 would be "Redistribution of Income". Because, why should your neighbor make more money than you right? How fair is that? If you've done any research regarding political agendas of DIFFERENT countries, you'll know that "Redistribution of Income" is a concept almost exclusive to communism. Where every citizen is afforded the same resources and benefits regardless of their job and/or skill level. They don't work for money, they work and are given the same home food, and clothes as everyone else. Yet another similarity between communism and Agenda 21.

    Agenda 21 has been publicly supported by three different Presidents. Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barrack Obama. You've probably heard it referred to as "Sustainable Development". It's not just presidents people, Supreme Court Justices Ginsburg, Breyer, and Kennedy, all support what they call the "Smart Growth" plan. Another direct and deliberate reference to Agenda 21 that was overlooked by people who had no idea, and omitted by media outlets that are controlled by Liberal (Which is roughly 85%).

    You may remember an anti-globalization speech in which Ben Carson referred to globalization as "The first step in controlling our younger generation". In the background, Barrack Obama, a known supporter of the document, can be seen visually expressing his discontent. You can tell he was very displeased with Mr. Carsons speech. Two weeks later Ben Carson was targeted by the IRS, in which the most detailed audit to date was conducted.

    If you examine the above map, you'll see the proposed system for regulating "Biodiversity". Roughly 50% of all land area in the U.S. will be converted to core reserves. These will be very highly regulated with absolutely zero human use. All of these core reserves will be interconnected through corridors that also have no human use. All of these regulated areas will be surrounded completely by "buffer zones". These buffer zones would consist fo regulated areas at least 100 miles wide, with minimal human use. Exceptions would be oil and lumber industries, with proper permitting, and under constant 24 hour observation of the United Nations.

    If you live in any of the red areas above, get ready to pack your bags, becuase those "core reserves" are currently suburban communities that people like you and me live in. Currently, the United States government considers any land not industrialized for commercial use to be "Open Space". The problem with with open space, is that it's all private property. And though it is protected under our Bill of Rights, the proposed document would convert this open space to core reserves. 

        I know that all of this is not exactly the norm here at Politically Incorrect SOB, but how politically incorrect would we be if we kept it a secret?!

Saturday, November 28, 2015

Drunken Nights at Home - Part 1


   For those of you that have been following the past couple of weeks, thanks for all the views, and even more for all of the positive feedback you've sent me! A little constructive criticism really helps me pick the best writing style to keep all of your interest.

   Also, my apologies to all of my readers, I've been so busy with worth and my family as the holidays drew near, that I've seldom had time to update the blog. The more of you that email me, or leave comments, the more motivated I stay to update it almost DAILY! 

   It took some time to decide what story I would tell next, I have so many that I forget about the majority of them until they somehow get brought up in my day to day life. This next one I was actually reminded about at a party not long ago. I was renouncing on the past with The Bearded Yankee, and he couldn't help but ask me to tell this one. I hope you enjoy it as much as everyone else did!

   This one couldn't have happened no more than a year ago. I only remember because I had recently pulled a muscle in the gym so the doc gave me a Vicodin script, which of course meant I was a happy mother fucker. This also meant however, that my Vicodin intake almost tripled, because I was doing it with a doctors permission now.

   I'm sure most of you remember who The Guy is? Well to be honest, The Guy never really drank that much. Usually his day would consist of work, then coming home and relaxing with some green. As you can probably guess, this led to him having an extremely low alcohol tolerance.

   Every great once in a while however, The Guy would come home from work to one of our parties, and decide he just HAD to join in. Nine times out of ten this included violent actions against my furniture and/or getting lost in the backyard. One particular evening, he did just that. Though it wasn't much of a party, more like a few friends hanging out and drinking.

   The Guy showed up from work, and started drinking with the 4 or 5 of us that we're awake. Sadly, the good times only lasted an hour or so, as I made the mistake of offering him a drink of my bottle. 

   I had just opened the Fifth of Old Crow. It was a cheap whiskey, $8.95 actually, but I like it cheap, that meant I had more money for beer. And when I offered The Guy the first drink of the bottle, he took that as a challenge to chug the whole god damned thing -.-

   Well needless to say it wasn't an hour later that he was drunk as fuck wailing around my house like a wacky wavy inflatable arm tube man trying to sleep with anything that had a clam hole and was breathing.

   We don't call this man "The Guy". When he's this drunk, he generally goes by the name Richard G. Dome. And let me tell you, Richard has no morales, Richard has no chill, and Richard has so fucks to give. Richard is basically me when I'm sober.

   Amongst the friends at our house was one in particular, we'll call her "Big tittied Bitch". And as you an imagine, The Guy had a fascination with Big Tittied Bitch. So what did The Guy want to do? I'll let you use your head and figure that one out in your own.

   Well at the end of that first hour, The Guy started having a mental breakdown on my fucking ass. He freaked out on everyone but me and Big Tittied Bitch. So everyone left, leaving the two of us to deal with The Guy on our own.

   Naturally this pissed me off, but hey whatever shit happens. It wasn't really that bad because anything that Big Tittied Bitch said, The Guy listened to. The only problem, was that The Guy thought that since she was being nice to him, that she wanted to sleep with him. 

    Another hour later she had him calmed down, and he was well beyond smitten. A fifth of Old Crow, a gram or two of green, and some bare tits walking around all night led to the following conversation:

   BTB- You gonna be okay Guy? 

   TG- oh yah fo sho, hey bout another drink bitch?

    BTB- Um, I think I'm good thanks

   ME- hey The Guy, how bout we go out in the garage and have a smoke?

   TG- aight man lets go

   BTB- so guy, I think I'll have that drink after all, care to mix one for me?

   TG- hells yah girl, gimme a sec (walks out)
 
   At this point, Big Tittied Bitch gives me a look that basically says "save me, I think he wants me!", in which I replied with a look that says "oh I'm just here to watch and laugh bitch".

   TG- (walks back in) here ha go girl (puts arms around her)

   BTB- oh thank you

   Me- so Guy, I'm pretty sure this both wants your dick, you gonna hit that? 

   BTB- (looks at me glaring)

   TG- oh you're damn right I am hahaha, what do you expect? (Looks at BTB) hey girl, you got some nice tits you know that?

   BTB- (ignores him)

   TG- (realizing he got shot down) Psssh whatever, face is kinda busted though...

   Me- oh shit... Shots fired!

   BTB- wtf did you say to me you pig??

   TG- whatever girl, Ima go beat my dick, wanna help?

   BTB- (looks at me) I'm going home, I'll text you tomorrow

   Me- aight deuces

   Spending the past hour typing this thing during the commercials of 007: Skyfall, it realize that this story is a lot better told in person, but hey, watch a gonna do right? It'll probably be two or three days before I can post another story as I'm in Austin, TX for Thanksgiving, but keep an eye and because my next story will be coming soon!
 

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Can I Touch Your Pussy Prank!

Funny All The Time: Can I Touch Your Pussy Prank! - Watch The Video!

Marines - As Retarded as any Civilian

     So my time in the Marine Corps wasn't always enjoyable, and not every Marine I encountered was capable of carrying on an intelligent conversation. Sometimes, this would piss you off so badly all you wanted to do was rage through the barracks dishing out servings of hate and discontent. Other times, you couldn't help but roll around laughing your ass off. This being a blog based on comedy, you can imagine how this story goes.

     Ty was one of my coworkers, and back then, he reminded you of a sloth with down syndrome. He's not as retarded as he used to be thankfully, but back then, the shit that came out of his mouth made you stop dead in your tracks and think, "Can someone really be this stupid?". If you read this Ty, don't get butt hurt, you were an idiot half of the time we knew each other haha.

     The majority of this story takes place spread out over the course of a single week. In that week, Ty changed my entire perspective of how IQ levels work. For instance, he was notorious for never knowing the answer to very simple questions. For example, the following conversation is indeed real, and took place late January, The people referred to as "J" and "Brett" are coworkers:

Ty: (Out of Nowhere) Where do Sharks come from?

J: Ty what the fuck haha

Me: No hold on, you really ask that??

Ty: No for real guys, where are they from?

J: The ocean....

Ty: No like originally

Me: Oh my fucking god... I give up...

(Brett walks in)

Me: Brett, listen to this mother fucker

Brett: What's up?

Ty: No like for real though, where are sharks from, like, originally?

Brett: I'm leaving work early before I catch whatever disease made him retarded. See ya'll tomorrow.

     Yes, this is a real conversation. And no, the story doesn't end here. As a matter of fact, it only gets worse. I'm not particular sure of the context of the following conversation, it's been to long. What I do remember is that Ty asked a stupid question, and being the guy I was, I had to make fun of him:

Me: Ty, how the hell does a grown man not know something like that? how fucking old are you to not have figured that out?

Ty: Uuuuuuuh..... 23 right?

Me: Oh fuck.... you didn't really forget your age, this is all a joke...

Ty: ......

J: ........

Brett: ........ I can't handle this shit anymore, I need a transfer, or a new coworker...

Me: You'll never live this down fucker.

Ty: Guy's I was joking

J: My ass.

     He never told us his age till we brought it up like three days later. To be honest I was very convinced he had to go and check. Anyways I'll be posting more about Ty in the following weeks as stories are sent to me by my old coworkers. Stay tuned!

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Anything But Clothes (ABC) Party



ABC stands for Anything But Clothes. Party goers must show up in "Anything But Clothes." This is one of the favorite themes of college campuses nationwide. Everyone gets to dress up in silly costumes and hott scandalous outfits. Whether you decide to wrap your body in caution tape or condoms its sure to be a fun night ahead!

What to Wear?

Be creative and use your imagination. You can get away with wearing anything for this party but if you want to stick out in the crowd you need to dress a little more risqué. The typical last minute costumes usually use a black trash bag or some toilet paper but if you like making things then this party is perfect for you. The key to this party is wear something unique. Get creative, go all out and it will be tons of fun!

Costume Ideas:

  • Duct Tape
  • Beer Boxes
  • Plastic Bags
  • Aluminum Foil
  • Towel
  • Place Mates
  • Cardboard Box
  • Candy Wrappers
  • Rubber Gloves
  • Caution Tape
  • Newspaper
  • Balloons
  • Feathers
  • Fabric
  • Wrapping Paper
  • Shower Curtain
  • Monopoly Money
  • Bubble Wrap
  • Condoms
  • Posters
  • Napkins
  • Body Paint
  • Party Streamers
  • Colored Saran Wrap
  • Paper Snowflakes
  • Burlap Sacks
  • Palm Fronds
  • Paper Toweling
  • Country Flags
  • Curtains
  • Sheets
  • Paper
  • Rugs
  • Hammocks
  • Accessories
  • CID

         The Criminal Investigative Department, or CID for short, is pretty much what you think it would be. But that's not what this story is about. CID is the nickname given to one of our socially awkward friends when he first started hanging out with us. He acted like a cop, and we broke the law a lot, so we called him CID,

         This story takes place at one of my house parties (no surprise there). On this particular night, the male to female ratio was actually roughly even. Any big party goer can attest to the fact that 90% of todays parties are pretty much sausage fests, and among the females here at the party, not even one was anywhere in the vicinity of "sober". Among the crowd that night, was familiar faces such as Nurse Bitch, Funny Nosed Bitch, and Neighbor Bitch. Those are the three we're going to focus on.

         The night started at the bar, just a few friends drinking and dancing, And quickly turned into an after party at my place. We left the bar at closing, already hammered, and picked up beer on the way home. Once we all settled in, got the beer pong table set up, got the music going, and the liquor flowing, clothes started to come off.

         This wasn't unusual, what would be unusual would be any female walking around with a shirt on. But on this night, CID broke one of the cardinal rules of going to a house party. CID passed out on the sectional not even minutes after our arrival. SOBER. Bad mistake kiddo, game on. For the first hour or two this didn't ever really register to us, we were too busy watching the chicks bounce their tits around my kitchen and dance on each other

         After everyone was good and drunk, and we made our way to the living room where the music was, I finally noticed CID. He was shirtless, unconscious, and basically begging to be fucked with, But I couldn't find my sharpie, sad face :( but that's okay, I felt like being generous at the time so I did something nice.

         At my request, Nurse Bitch, Funny Nosed Bitch, and Neighbor Bitch, all proceed to dance their nude bodies ALL over CID. Now for most guys, this is an absolute delight. But for an awkward 19 year old whose only action recently has been his left hand and the bare shoulder of a early 80's Playboy he keeps in his barracks room, this was much more than amazing, this was the pinnacle of what it means to be a man.

         At first he was shocked. Why were random people dancing on him and where were their clothes? it was only a few moments before he realized...Tits? Tits! And the smile on his face was one I'll never forget. I've got pictures of the whole event, maybe I'll blur out the females a tad and post them, if I'm feeling up to it and I can find them.

    The Guy likes his story