So my time in the Marine Corps wasn't always enjoyable, and not every Marine I encountered was capable of carrying on an intelligent conversation. Sometimes, this would piss you off so badly all you wanted to do was rage through the barracks dishing out servings of hate and discontent. Other times, you couldn't help but roll around laughing your ass off. This being a blog based on comedy, you can imagine how this story goes.
Ty was one of my coworkers, and back then, he reminded you of a sloth with down syndrome. He's not as retarded as he used to be thankfully, but back then, the shit that came out of his mouth made you stop dead in your tracks and think, "Can someone really be this stupid?". If you read this Ty, don't get butt hurt, you were an idiot half of the time we knew each other haha.
The majority of this story takes place spread out over the course of a single week. In that week, Ty changed my entire perspective of how IQ levels work. For instance, he was notorious for never knowing the answer to very simple questions. For example, the following conversation is indeed real, and took place late January, The people referred to as "J" and "Brett" are coworkers:
Ty: (Out of Nowhere) Where do Sharks come from?
J: Ty what the fuck haha
Me: No hold on, you really ask that??
Ty: No for real guys, where are they from?
J: The ocean....
Ty: No like originally
Me: Oh my fucking god... I give up...
(Brett walks in)
Me: Brett, listen to this mother fucker
Brett: What's up?
Ty: No like for real though, where are sharks from, like, originally?
Brett: I'm leaving work early before I catch whatever disease made him retarded. See ya'll tomorrow.
Yes, this is a real conversation. And no, the story doesn't end here. As a matter of fact, it only gets worse. I'm not particular sure of the context of the following conversation, it's been to long. What I do remember is that Ty asked a stupid question, and being the guy I was, I had to make fun of him:
Me: Ty, how the hell does a grown man not know something like that? how fucking old are you to not have figured that out?
Ty: Uuuuuuuh..... 23 right?
Me: Oh fuck.... you didn't really forget your age, this is all a joke...
Ty: ......
J: ........
Brett: ........ I can't handle this shit anymore, I need a transfer, or a new coworker...
Me: You'll never live this down fucker.
Ty: Guy's I was joking
J: My ass.
He never told us his age till we brought it up like three days later. To be honest I was very convinced he had to go and check. Anyways I'll be posting more about Ty in the following weeks as stories are sent to me by my old coworkers. Stay tuned!
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